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1027After the tone please leave your name, number, where you live and where you left the money........PREVIEWORDER

1019Ah hello, we are home right now but we can't answer the phone.....PREVIEWORDER

1046Ah yeah, hi. We're still not back from our journey into cyberspace.....PREVIEWORDER

1022Ahh hello there! He went out for 15 minutes half an hour ago and he won't be back for 2 hours........PREVIEWORDER

1002As the drugs take hold, you'll feel like you're losing your grip on reality.....PREVIEWORDER

1075At the tone, from the time you called you will have exectly 5 seconds less remaining in your life *BEEP*......At the tone, from the time you called you will have exectly 10 seconds less remaining in your life *BEEP*......PREVIEWORDER

1057Beer festival Ja hello, these people having so much fun drinking de beer.....PREVIEWORDER

1065Cat miow This phone line has been connected to a 5000 volt power supply that has been wired to the small kitten......PREVIEWORDER

1016Duh, helloooo. If you're calling with bad news please leave your message now, if you're calling with good news then please wait for the tonePREVIEWORDER

1017Err, Hello, I'm not here right now because tonight I start serving a 30 year term in the State Department of corrections for politically incorrect statements........PREVIEWORDER

1060Errr, hello, we cannot come to the phone right now.....PREVIEWORDER

1069Everything you say will be under oath, you have the right to remain silent anything you do say will be recorded and used against you ....... PREVIEWORDER

1077Explosion Hello and thank you for calling.We are at our online bomb making seminar .....PREVIEWORDER

1013FOUR ALPHA, TEST...OF...SOFTWARE. Revision 2.1. Counting down to test 3...2...1.....PREVIEWORDER

1008FOXTROT, LIMA, ALPHA, SIERRA, HOTEL. Key destruct sequence now. This terminal also accepts voice messages.....PREVIEWORDER

1062Fun in bed! Hi, my wife and I can't get to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, we'll get back to yoooooooooooooooooooou! .....PREVIEWORDER

1059Gagged woman -----> Man: Hello, I'm sorry but nobody here can come to the phone right now as they are all tied up.....PREVIEWORDER

1005German Accent Ja, hello. please leave your name and number after ze tone..…PREVIEWORDER

1045GONG Herro, We no home, but if you weave message we call you soon, if you leave sexy message, we call you sooner.....PREVIEWORDER

1038Goodday passengers, welcome to flight 416 flying non stop to the beep.Please store all messages in the overhead mailbox provided.....PREVIEWORDER

1001Greetings Earthlings, I am an extra terrestrial from the planet Hmhuumugh.....PREVIEWORDER

1012Greetings, I am a fully integrated, state of the art, digitally enhanced voicemail unit........PREVIEWORDER

1039Gunfire in background Hello, we're a little pinned down right now.......PREVIEWORDER

1033Hello and thanks for calling but we really couldn't come to terms with the fact that the phone was ringing.....PREVIEWORDER

1014Hello and welcome to the multiple choice voicemail greeting system. We cannot take your call at the moment because A) We are surfing the internet B) We're on another call or C).....PREVIEWORDER

1073Hello and welcome to word a day hotline after the tone please leave you name and number and create your own sentence using todays new word. Todays word is Corpronegropediaphilia .......PREVIEWORDER

2001Hello! God speaking, please leave your name, number and prayer...... PREVIEWORDER

1072Hello, *screams* You have reached Helgars house of hair removal.....PREVIEWORDER

1084Hello, around the world, millions still speak French as their first or second language. With your help we can wipe out French.......PREVIEWORDER

1066Hello, city morgue. You kill 'em, we chill 'em!......PREVIEWORDER

1031Hello, err, what I am saying?....There is no one here...Well, there is but not as I speak.....PREVIEWORDER

1026Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, errr, we must be having some technical difficulties.....PREVIEWORDER

1028Hello, I don't have a lot of rapour with anything that I can't reason with.....PREVIEWORDER

1018Hello, I'm sorry, you'vr reached an imaginary number, please rotate your equipment by 90 degrees and try your call again.....PREVIEWORDER

1023Hello, I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out of body experience, in fact, I am stood right behind you.....PREVIEWORDER

1063Hello, look, I'm sorry but I'm far too depressed to come to the phone ....... PREVIEWORDER

1040Hello, please leave message after smoke signal .....PREVIEWORDER

1070Hello, please leave your name, number and a brief message...... PREVIEWORDER

1082Hello, thanks for calling *bang bang bang* We are reinacting the crucifixion so you could say that we are just hanging around......PREVIEWORDER

1064Hello, the number you are calling from has been traced and your details forwarded to an online spam centre called badsexgirls.com .....PREVIEWORDER

1011Hello, we're not home right now but I can take a message, hang on, I'll just get a pencil. (Crashing sound) oh sh*t....ok, shootPREVIEWORDER

1076Hello, you have reached the fidelity sperm helpline......PREVIEWORDER

1056Hello, you know they say that its better to give someone a net and to teach them to fish than it is to just give them a fish, so I'm on the net now, learning how to fish......PREVIEWORDER

1068Hello, you know what to do at the tone....... PREVIEWORDER

1043Hello, you know, being reicarnated as a voicemail machine is de pits.....PREVIEWORDER

1006Hello, you've reached an answerperson, I don't get paid to respond but anything you say after the tone will be memorised to the best of my.........thingamy.....PREVIEWORDER

1020Hello, you've reached the Post Office. After the tone, please write a letter and allow 4 to 6 weeks for us to get back to you.....PREVIEWORDER

1024Hello..we..can't..get..to..your..call..right..now.........PREVIEWORDER

1044Hey! Hi, can you help me...please? Can you help me? I'm stuck down here in the phone....... PREVIEWORDER

1035Hey! Hi, I'm pretending that I'm marooned on a desert island with Linda Carter, Sharon Stone and Rachel Hunter. Since I don't have a phone here, you could leave me a message in a bottle after the beep .....PREVIEWORDER

1021Hi and thanks for calling during our spring pledge drive. A basic membership is only $30.....PREVIEWORDER

1003Hi! Is Kevin there? ....oh...you called me....oh...ok....well....erm...Leave a message.....PREVIEWORDER

1079Hi, if you're calling about an outstanding debt or you're selling something or requesting a charitable donation then please leave your message before the tone.......PREVIEWORDER

1085Hi, thanks for calling but we're in the shower, that's right, your friend and me, all soaped up....... PREVIEWORDER

1030Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend way too much time on the phone. Go outside...See the world...Live a little...have fun! .....PREVIEWORDER

1080Hi, we are at home but we are avoiding someone please leave your name and number to find out if it's you!......PREVIEWORDER

1083Hi, we are home but we are cleaning our weapons. Please leave your name *bang*, your number *bang* .....PREVIEWORDER

1041Hi, we can't come to the phone right now because we're down in the basement printing off a batch of $20 bills if you need any money or you just want to admire our handywork please leave your name and number and how much cash you need.....PREVIEWORDER

1004Hi, we're sorry that we can't answer the phone right now, please leave a message and then wait by your phone until someone calls you back .....PREVIEWORDER

1054Hi, we're still not back from our journey into cyberspace .....PREVIEWORDER

1067Hi, you've reached Joes crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em!.....PREVIEWORDER

1015Hi, you've reached Susans message parlour.....PREVIEWORDER

1042Horse Racing And they're off...It's nobody can take your call jumping into an early lead, followed by leave your message after the tone......PREVIEWORDER

1055Man drowning in water. Other man---> What he's trying to say is there's noone here to take your call right now..…PREVIEWORDER

1061Oh hello, I cannot take your call right now cos I'm out getting my ankles tattooed......PREVIEWORDER

1050Scottish accent Hello, are you calling me? Sure, I'm just leaving the house....... PREVIEWORDER

1036Splashing water sound Hi, I can't get to the phone right now as I am a bit tied up with this Crocodile.....PREVIEWORDER

1074Thank you for calling the suicide hotline.......PREVIEWORDER

1058T-minus 10 9 8.....You have reached strategic air command nuclear missile storage facilty....…PREVIEWORDER

1025Vacuum cleaner sound Oooh hello, yes, we are just out getting a new cockatoo .....PREVIEWORDER

1049Waltzing Matilda in background Well G'day, how ya goin'? Listen, I'm not here right now, but I'll tell ya what, this voicemail recorder thingy here is so clever.....PREVIEWORDER

1010WARNING, WARNING, WARNING, This voicemail system has a very short attention span and it will hang up on your if you leave a message that is boring....PREVIEWORDER

1007We interrupt this phone call to advise you of an important development. Please stand by. THIS WAS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY VOICEMAIL TELEPHONE SYSTEM. HAD IT BEEN A REAL EMERGENCY, YOUR CALL WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INTERRUPTED........PREVIEWORDER

1047Well hello there brothers and sisters and thank y'all for calling here......PREVIEWORDER

1078Whipping sounds Hello, this phoneline has been hijacked by www.whipme.com ....... PREVIEWORDER

1037X-Files Music Hi, We've all been captured by a flying saucer.....PREVIEWORDER

1032Yaaa, hello there, please don't adjust your telephone, we have taken control........PREVIEWORDER

1034Yeah, hi. These folks recorded this stupid thing for the phone.......PREVIEWORDER

1029You have reached the CPX 2002 voice blackmail system. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and being stored.........PREVIEWORDER

1009You're growing tired, your eyelids are getting heavy, you feel very sleepy now.....PREVIEWORDER

1071You've reached Pornography Films Unlimited......PREVIEWORDER
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