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904310...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1. It's time to talk.PREVIEWORDER

9028A is for academics...B is for beer..One *burp* of those is the reason we're not here.....PREVIEWORDER

9054Aerobics And 5, 6, 7, 8, can't talk right now, stretch it up 2, 3......PREVIEWORDER

9025After the tone please leave your name and number and where you left the money.....PREVIEWORDER

2003Chainsaw sound - Thank you for calling but the doctor is in surgery...PREVIEWORDER

9030Chanting in background Welcome to the afterlife voicemail system. If you're trying to reach heaven, please press 1.....PREVIEWORDER

7005Chicken clucking You've reached the headquarters of the chicken labour union coalition ...…PREVIEWORDER

9010Don't you do that now, don't you dare! I don't wanna hear it......PREVIEWORDER

9018Errr. Hi. This may seem a little odd but I'm the microwave oven....PREVIEWORDER

9039French Lady This is the French gourmon with a delicious answering machine recipe.....PREVIEWORDER

7009German accent Ja, hello, these people having so much fun drinking de beer...…PREVIEWORDER

9012Goodday passengers. Welcome to flight 416 flying non stop to beep.....PREVIEWORDER

9031Greetings Earthlings, I am an extra terrestrial from the planet Hmhuumugh.....PREVIEWORDER

9015Hello and welcome to the top 5 reasons to hang up now if you're a salesman. Number 5, we probably don't want one anyway, number 4, we don't have enough money for your imaginary high priced product. Number 3, we said no the first time .....PREVIEWORDER

9046Hello darling, Nando here, looking marvellous. Please leave a message after the tone so I can hear you because I'm sure you sound marvellous.....PREVIEWORDER

9038Hello friends, and thanks for calling Flatulence Anonymous. All of our councillors are pretty occupied right now.....PREVIEWORDER

9001Hello, *tapping the mic* Testing (whispers, How do I leave a message on this thing?) ......PREVIEWORDER

9004Hello, did you know that your advertisement could appear in this space for just $4.99 per day? ......PREVIEWORDER

9013Hello, God speaking. Please leave your name, number and prayer after the tone....PREVIEWORDER

9008Hello, I am home right now but I can't find the phone, please leave a long loud message and help me locate it....PREVIEWORDER

9032Hello, I can't take your call right now as I seemed to have contracted some kind of attention deficit disorder.....PREVIEWORDER

9006Hello, I can't talk right now 'cos I've got ....errrr amnesia and I feel a bit stupid talking to people I don't remember......PREVIEWORDER

9040Hello, I'm not home right now but I can take a message, so just hang on while I get a pencil......PREVIEWORDER

9024Hello, I'm the latest Windows 2000 compliant XS 486 voicemail recorder and I'm equipt with a Pentium mark 7 processor to ensure that nothing can go wrong...go wrong...go wrong.....PREVIEWORDER

9022Hello, please leave your name, number and a brief message.....PREVIEWORDER

9003Hello, there's nobody here right now....PREVIEWORDER

9033Hello, this is Bob the burglar here, the owner ain't home right now, so if you wanna leave a message, please do so, but it won't matter cos I'm gonna take the answer phone.....PREVIEWORDER

9027Hello, we're not here but please leave a message for our dog.....PREVIEWORDER

9026Hello, what am I saying....There's no-one here. Well....there is but not as I speak.....PREVIEWORDER

9019Hello, you have reached the North American air defence contract centre. Stand by at the tone to give coordinates and destination ...PREVIEWORDER

9052Hey baby, this is the love doctor, I'm at the bedside of a very special patient.....PREVIEWORDER

9021Hey.... Hi! Can you help me? Can you help me? I'm stuck down here in the phone......PREVIEWORDER

9023Hi the voicemail machine is broken right now so this is the fridge. Please leave your message when the light goes out....PREVIEWORDER

9020Hi, I can't come to the phone right now, you see, this morning I accidently took 2 laxative tablets along with my prozac and now I can't get off the can but I'm really happy about it.....PREVIEWORDER

9009Hi, we're not in right now but if you'de like to leave a message please press hash, press 3 then dial your name press 6 the dial your number......PREVIEWORDER

9048Hi, yeah, you've reached mother nature. I'm not in right now, I'm just a little busy trying to get ready for spring....PREVIEWORDER

9007Hi, you've reached Tim and Sonia. We can't come to the phone right now because we're both doing something we really enjoy......PREVIEWORDER

9041Horse racing commentator And they're off, its nobody can take your call jumping into an early lead followed closely by please leave a message after the tone.....PREVIEWORDER

9042Hypnotist You're growing tired, your eyelids are getting heavy, you feel very sleepy now.....PREVIEWORDER

9044If you leave your message at the sound of the kitty, we'll get right back to you.PREVIEWORDER

9029Ladies and Gentlemen, Lords and Ladies, Dukes and Duchesses, Prince and Princess'esses.....PREVIEWORDER

9014Loud music is background Hang on, hang on....Let me turn this down... Hang on......Hang on. Music stops. Please leave me a message.…PREVIEWORDER

9047Monty Python Oooh hello, you've reached theMonty Python silly voices preservation society.....PREVIEWORDER

9049Movie Trailer From the person you've tried to reach comes..Answering Machine, The story of a phone that just kept ringing.....PREVIEWORDER

9050She traced the line down his chest towards his raging manhood.....PREVIEWORDER

9005Shouting in background Hello, this is the Jones residence and we're in the middle of a family fight right now...…PREVIEWORDER

9035So you've decided to give us a call. Well, we're not here. Did you think we had nothing better to do than sat here waiting for you to ring up.........PREVIEWORDER

9017Thank you for calling Learn Japanese in 20 seconds a day. Are you ready? Lets begin.....PREVIEWORDER

9002Thank you for dialling Dial an Asshole. All our assholes are busy right now......PREVIEWORDER

9016Toilet Flushing Hello, incontinence hotline...…PREVIEWORDER

9034Very kindly confine your remarks to a brief message.PREVIEWORDER

9053Welcome to the telephone weather report, bringing up-to-date reports to your phone's location where tomorrow will once again be sh*te......PREVIEWORDER

9011Well, hi there. Welcome to the easy listening sounds of this voicemail device......PREVIEWORDER

5019Wooshing sound Hello, we are home. We're still trying to catch something with this net..…PREVIEWORDER

9051You have just reached the amazing Ronfold phonomatic telephone answering machine.....PREVIEWORDER

9045You're through to Dial-a-Hit. You got someone out doing your girl, stealing your business, or just p***ing you off.....PREVIEWORDER
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